"Hi"

As opening lines go, it doesn't get much simpler than "Hi"
"Hi. How are you" is the second runner up.

Don't get me wrong, I do appreciate simple straight forward communication, but when dealing with the internet dating scene you have to give me a little more to go on. When you're walking up to someone in a bar or in a park, where ever you might meet in the real world, there are plenty of concrete sensory clues about a person. How they look, sound, smell, dress, hold themselves and how they look at you. But in cyberland all I have is your intro and a carefully (or carelessly) crafted profile page. So for god's sake man, be a little bit interesting in your opening line!

Take for example, the guy who simply asked me what I thought about parks. He included types and usages from regular parks to parking lots, and even Parker Posey. See... clever... and it gives me something to work with, some way to prove I'm as sharp and witty as he is.

Or how about the guy who sent me a list of 9 possible dates so I could choose something, letting me write back about how each was interesting in it's own way and why.

And then there was the optimistic fella who sent me the pledge of Awesome Possums. Off beat, but definitely worth taking a risk. My response reads as follows:


I "Jean" (that's me) have:

*NOT got into freelancing because of the money (although it's significantly better in film than in theatre) but rather for the love of what I do and also for the fact that two years of nine to five (making hats, which i realize hardly counts as 9-5) was nearly enough to kill my delicate and free spirit...

*got gum, various foods, several brushes, and once a small kitten stuck in my hair... as a matter of fact there may be a small woodland creature in there as we speak... it's hard to tell, it gets pretty wild some days...

*have only broken one bone, my left forearm, at the age of 4, by falling 2 feet off my dad's back... which also resulted in me kicking a medical professional in the delicate parts...

*have an embarrassing number of shoes... to which collection a gorgeous pair of "baby brogues" was added yesterday... black and white men's style shoes made just for my dainty feet! shoe love!!

*don't care about the lack of vehicle, but may feel the need to make jokes about the lack of licence... there's probably a really good reason so I'll save my best jokes for when i find out what it is...

*had not only a cabbage patch doll, but also a pink haired cabbage patch "cousin" doll... yep, a knock off c.p.k. but in hindsight she was very punk rock and edgy...


Really, all I'm asking is the opportunity to impress you, so impress me, and give me something to work with!