An addiction or a choice?

The question arose, over patio beers with my two married friends, about my type. What was I looking for in a man? What attracted me? The truth was, I couldn't really express it, distill it to words... at least not in any way that wouldn't make me look both shallow and more than a little neurotic.
"For example," I said, "I'm about to embark on my last two internet dates-"
"Wait," said Lisa, "You're still internet dating? I thought you swore off it after your last "last" internet date"
"I know," I admitted, "but it's strangely addictive."
"Even the losers, creeps, and weirdos?" Laura asked.
"Especially the them!" I replied.
"Please tell me you're keeping a blog"
"I am now..."

And thus, Glutton for Punishment was born.

I had found myself at 34, single again, finally finished mourning a broken heart (more or less), and fresh out of dating options. Dating the men I met at work was not an option. I'd seen how badly that could go first hand, and had no desire to wander down that path. I'd considered and dismissed most of my friends' friends. Really, it's not pretty when that situation goes south... someone always gets left out of the dinner parties and my friends are really good cooks! I don't suppose I need to go into detail on the bar scene, except to say that in my experience bars are filled with 23 year olds and attached men- both type is interested on a regular basis, sadly I don't return the admiration.

So one night over a bottle of Cuban rum, a very well meaning friend signed me up for Lava life. The particularly amusing part of that wasn't how she managed to extract a binding promise to give it a try for at least two months, but how she signed me up for the "intimate encounters" section of the site. Within 24 hours I had discovered that men could send pictures of their penises in that section. I've got quite the varied collection of male genitalia of all shapes and sizes thanks to Lava I.E. and I don't mind admitting that I laughed out loud upon receipt of each one!

The opening lines I was subsequently subjected to ranged from brilliant to bizar and back.

I've got a soft spot for those freaks and weirdos and the bravery they find in the anonymity of the internet.

I've often also had men send notes expressing surprise at finding a girl like me online.

"You're absolutely gorgeous? [his words not mine, I have some modesty] but I have to ask, what is a girl like you doing online? It must just be some sort of ego trip."

I was truly impressed with how that guy managed to compliment me with one breath and insult me in the next. I mean, I'm attractive, but obviously must be so shallow and narcissistic that I've posted a profile online just to get men to send me compliments. News flash fellas, pretty, intelligent women have just as much trouble finding a great relationship as the next person. I'm single, not an egomaniac.

So after months of regaling my friends with my tales of internet wackiness, I've decided it's time to share it with the world. Strap in, Ladies and Gents, for all the high hopes and bad dates (not to mention the most note worthy opening lines) that I can fit on the internet. It's gonna be a bumpy ride folks.