Chicksand

Today, through the miracle of Internet t.v. and half a bottle of wine, I have discovered a new phenomenon.

Chicksand.

(shout out to "Happy Endings")

Let me break it down for you. It's like quicksand, only with a girl. (Or I suppose a guy, although that would be dudes and and it doesn't have quite the same ring.) This is when you find yourself in a situation where you are being sucked into a relationship when what you were after was just a fling. Now, arguably, this can be good or bad, but let's be honest... we've all been there. She was hot, but kinda crazy... He was hung but "shut up and kiss me" stupid. Or maybe they're great, but just not for you.

Yet somehow, there you are... stuck in chicksand. You're making and responding to phone calls you don't want to be having... going on brunch dates... meeting family. They've named a pet after you. You think to yourself "I'll just have 'the talk' with them, that will clear it up". But then their pet dies (the one they named for you) or they get fired, or hit by a truck (not the big kind, a small one... maybe a broken leg).

Or, horror of horrors, they tell you they're in love.

My personal "chicksand" was a retread boyfriend (you can't go back, don't even try... but we'll touch on that in another post). You know the one. You had a longish relationship... a year or so... split up for very good reasons. Then one night you find yourselves under the influence at a gathering. The group thins out, you're tired, you curl up in the nearest available bed and hope for the best. Then you realize your mistake. Yep, you're in your ex's bed. And suddenly so is he. But hey, you're both a little tipsy and no one's getting hurt.

Until the next morning.

When he professes his undying love.

And cooks you breakfast.

And all you can think is "Dear God. I promise to be good forever if you just smote me with lightning here and now!"

No such luck.

Chicksand.

Personally it took a year and some very slick negotiating skills to get out of this one, but then I've always had horrible timing and bad taste in men.

All I'm saying is that 'the talk' early in a situation can go a long way to mitigating chicksand scenarios. We're all adults, sometimes sex just happens (and frankly by the time you hit 30 you should be realistic about that). Even if some one's great, they don't have to be the next ONE, or even the next relationship.

But hey, maybe they are.

And sometimes it's okay to get stuck in chicksand. Just make sure that's really where you both want to be.