3 Dimensional Shift

I'm ashamed to admit it, but I'm sizeist.... heightist, weightist, even a little lookist... Yes, I admit it. When it comes to men, I'm a little bit... prejudiced.

It's not that if a man was otherwise fantastic, I'd completely write him off if he were, say, 5'7" (my height) or 125 pounds (my weight) but I'm going to be honest, I'm just more attracted to men who are taller and more... substantial... than myself. I like to wear heels. I think it's weird if I have to bend down to kiss my date. And I'm a fairly skinny chick, my guy shouldn't make me look big!

I know! I know! I can hear you already. Up in arms over the way I judge men.

"How would you like it if men judged you like that?!" you cry.

"That's so shallow!" you (pre)judge.

Well, tough.

First of all, I don't like it when men judge me, or my friends, based on physical factors. But it happens, and it's natural. If a guy doesn't like me because I'm too tall for his tastes, or too curvy, or too thin, my skin is fair and freckled or my hair is the wrong colour, so what? If I'm awesome, he may get past it... or he may not. And if he doesn't get past it, someone else will see how awesome AND how hot I am and there won't be a compromise.

The same goes for my prejudices.

I've dated short before. It was actually him who had more of a problem with our heights being the same. He was a good looking guy, well built, and gainfully employed. He was often sweet and funny, but just as often sort of rough and off putting. In the end it was just our personalities that drove us apart. He saw me as some sort of "artsy brainer" oddity, and that made me see him as a "wall street jock".

And he was so damned short it was like being made out with by an italian leprechan!

In all seriousness, you can try to change what you find attractive, and you may surprise yourself by what REALLY does attract you in the end. If the chemistry is there, you may not care that he's going bald or has a paunch, or that she's not a blonde. But maybe you will. You'll never know unless you try, but don't beat yourself up if you just can't get past it.

Attraction is a multi dimensional thing... and sometimes you just can't make a dimensional shift.